These days are better than that

Thinking about my life, I fell a little bit stupid. Why do I spend my life loving you?! Everybody can see how you don’t care about my feelings, about my life, about me. On the other hand, I could give my life to see you happy and safe. “ Love is a dog from hell ”, Bukowski wrote in the past. He was right. Love is a dog from hell and I am there, feeling this fucking pain…

It’s a song about nobility and personal sacrifice, about doing what’s right, even if your heart is telling you otherwise. The spoken intro gave us the title for our new album: And love is not the easy thing / The only baggage you can bring / Is all that you can’t leave behind . Love, in the highest sense of the word, is the only thing that you can always take with you, in your heart. At some point you are going to have to lose everything else anyway. There’s a passage in Corinthians that uses the image of a house going through a fire, and it seems to suggest that when, in death, we eventually face judgement (or inspection, as one translation puts it) all that is made of straw and wood will be burned away, only the eternal things will survive. For me those things are family and friendship, abstract things, they’re not the things that you make. So at the end of the song, there is a litany of ambitions and achievements. You’ve got to leave it behind / All that you fashion / All that you ...

Photo: We♥it Today something strange (?) happened with me: I said no . Everything began when a new friend of mine started talking to me on facebook… In the middle of our conversation, he said he’d like to get to know me better, because he believes I’m a strong and daring person.  Well, although I don’t have an official boyfriend, I love my prince and I’d never change him to other guy, so what am I supposed to do? Just say no. That’s what I’ve did. After this conversation, I’ve started thinking about my life, not only how gorgeous and smart I am – I must to believe in it! – but how my life is changing this year. In fact, today was the first time a guy older than me said he’d like to get to know me better. I truly believe this happened because I know where I want to be in the future and I’ve started taking care about myself.   I’m trying to light my own way with happiness, even if I were alone, even if I’m not sure what’s going to happen. Despite I don’t like to ...

It’s hard to think about a weekend without you. What am I supposed to do without your hand to hold my hand?! I know, two days… it’s just a weekend. But what can I do with this hole that grows up in my soul?! I don’t know…  Feeling alone makes me think about my life, about how I’m blessed with your love! Yes, I’m telling you how much I miss you, because I love you and I want to scream for everybody listen to it: Hey, I love you! I can’t live without you, your hug, without you smile, without your touch… That’s why I’m telling you how being far from you kills me. If I could, I would live my life with you: the same house, the same bed, the same thoughts! But life is not a dream… and I’m here, alone… PS: I don’t wanna hurt you with these words. You, better than me, know who I am: I need to talk about my feelings to feel better. Writing makes me feel next to you (I know, it’s crazy but it’s true).

Here I am again, waiting and waiting. I don’t know… Sometimes I think that to love is to wait. Love is to be patient. Love is to respect. I’ve got a feeling I’m losing the love of my life right now. I’m afraid, but I know I must to be strong, because he will need me by his side – as his best friend, but he will… At this moment, I feel that I was born to be alone. I try to be a positive person, but it’s hard to deal with this loneliness (that knows me by name )… I fight with myself because I want to happy; in other hand, hope is something is lessening here… In fact, I got a lot of dreams: I want to form a big family – husband, kids, pets, a great house -, I want to travel, I want to be happy. Happiness is a warm gun … Happiness is not for me. I was born to be calm, to be cool, to be… not happy, not loved.