Skip to main content

Morning Pages #1


Today I'm gonna write my morning pages here. It's gonna be easier than put my words on my notebook. I slept a lot this night, so I'm excited for a long day without a nap. March is so fucking welcome in my life! I have to plan every step and do every little thing to make my plans happen!

I woke up with a "good morning" message from a friend of mine. This made me happy and sad at the same moment. I am happy because there's a long time I didn't talk to him. On the other hand, I'm sad because he has this thing of appear and vanish from my life wherever he wants. He talks to me when I'm useful to him. When I'm not, he desappears. I don't wanna be a "plan B" for anybody, so I've read what he wrote and didn't give him an answer. 

I'm thinking about finish Oli today. This story must have an end. I need to move on. It's like my life depends on Oli's end to find a way. Weird. Kind of dork too. But this is me... I am able to keep these stupid feelings inside my heart.

Anyway, I have to work on my literature project and see it get bigger and bigger. I past the last days without courage to write. Maybe because I'm doing it alone. I miss being with my girls however I couldn't go with them. Contradictions. My life is full of them.

I know I should have write three pages to call this document/post a morning pages. But I don't want to. It's a cloud Sunday here and all I want is listening to good music and relax. I wanna enjoy Jamie Cullum voice and set my mind free. So, let's end this post here. Let's end with his voice.


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

About love

Thinking about my life, I fell a little bit stupid. Why do I spend my life loving you?! Everybody can see how you don’t care about my feelings, about my life, about me. On the other hand, I could give my life to see you happy and safe. “ Love is a dog from hell ”, Bukowski wrote in the past. He was right. Love is a dog from hell and I am there, feeling this fucking pain…

*No title

It's a Summer morning with a bright Sun in the sky but inside I feel sad. I look at my empty mug looking for an answer What am I supposed to do? Coffee smells in the air It brings me the confidence I need To start my day. It has no sugar It isn't sweet But it's hot and full of energy. I breathe and drink my coffee goes down to my throat And I know now I'm a fighter.

Sometimes the grass is greener #not

In Portuguese, we're used to say that “our neighbor always has a greener grass than us” … I am with this thought on my mind these days. At work things are not easy. In life, my feelings are not easy. However, I can't see a greener grass in my neighbor’s garden. Is this world so crazy I can’t see anything good? I just wanna think this is a bad time and suddenly everything is gonna be ok again. But I miss a shoulder friend where I can rest and cry, a place able to give me the strength I need to see the beauty again. It’s hard to keep strong all the time and awful be a complainer all the time either. Everything I can do is writing about this pain and see this pain becoming words and texts and posts. The problem is: who will have the patience to read this?! (If you are reading, sorry. I am conscious this is not my best text) I see all my big dreams coming true, but the people I’ve dreamt to be here are not by my side. Of course, this is killing me. It’s hard build d...