[Trying to be] Ready for the good times

Hope.

I’m trying to be ready for the good times. I feel they are coming full of new great things and unforgettable moments. I’m feeling afraid of them, because I’ve spent so many times in the middle of this ~~fucking~~ pain that I can’t wonder how is be happy and loved and feeling ok. On the other hand, I’m starting to feel blessed about everything that happened to me. Pain = learning and learning is always welcomed!

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About love

Thinking about my life, I fell a little bit stupid. Why do I spend my life loving you?! Everybody can see how you don’t care about my feelings, about my life, about me. On the other hand, I could give my life to see you happy and safe. “ Love is a dog from hell ”, Bukowski wrote in the past. He was right. Love is a dog from hell and I am there, feeling this fucking pain…

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It's a Summer morning with a bright Sun in the sky but inside I feel sad. I look at my empty mug looking for an answer What am I supposed to do? Coffee smells in the air It brings me the confidence I need To start my day. It has no sugar It isn't sweet But it's hot and full of energy. I breathe and drink my coffee goes down to my throat And I know now I'm a fighter.

Sometimes the grass is greener #not

In Portuguese, we're used to say that “our neighbor always has a greener grass than us” … I am with this thought on my mind these days. At work things are not easy. In life, my feelings are not easy. However, I can't see a greener grass in my neighbor’s garden. Is this world so crazy I can’t see anything good? I just wanna think this is a bad time and suddenly everything is gonna be ok again. But I miss a shoulder friend where I can rest and cry, a place able to give me the strength I need to see the beauty again. It’s hard to keep strong all the time and awful be a complainer all the time either. Everything I can do is writing about this pain and see this pain becoming words and texts and posts. The problem is: who will have the patience to read this?! (If you are reading, sorry. I am conscious this is not my best text) I see all my big dreams coming true, but the people I’ve dreamt to be here are not by my side. Of course, this is killing me. It’s hard build d...

These days are better than that

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